It's hard to believe there would be snow considering it's summer, but it was simply beautiful. The mountains and ice was truely amazing. Breathtaking if you will. In some ways, I don't want to leave because of it's magnificance, but honestly, I miss home.
We hadn't missed a day, today was the first time I didn't recieve anything from him. I know I tend to worry, but I just can't help it. Especially when it comes to him. I know it's crazy, but what if he is no more. I mean, the slight chance that maybe, just maybe, he is passed.
I didn't tell him how I truely feel about him. I am too scared. And now I will never know how he may or may not have felt. The on-going guilt I would have and wonder of the possilibity tat might exist that we could be together, is no more. What would I do with myself? Drown in my self pity that I didn't take an opportunity that may have been there all along.
But if he is with us, how will I know when our last chance would be? Do I dare? Dare to risk what we have right now for something more? The fear is already swallowing me up, but an inspiration has come from within me that somehow who I thought would always be there, may have no choice but to leave? What do I do about it? Take the risk of humiliation or happiness. We will never know the outcome and THAT scares me more than anything.
We hadn't missed a day, today was the first time I didn't recieve anything from him. I know I tend to worry, but I just can't help it. Especially when it comes to him. I know it's crazy, but what if he is no more. I mean, the slight chance that maybe, just maybe, he is passed.
I didn't tell him how I truely feel about him. I am too scared. And now I will never know how he may or may not have felt. The on-going guilt I would have and wonder of the possilibity tat might exist that we could be together, is no more. What would I do with myself? Drown in my self pity that I didn't take an opportunity that may have been there all along.
But if he is with us, how will I know when our last chance would be? Do I dare? Dare to risk what we have right now for something more? The fear is already swallowing me up, but an inspiration has come from within me that somehow who I thought would always be there, may have no choice but to leave? What do I do about it? Take the risk of humiliation or happiness. We will never know the outcome and THAT scares me more than anything.
- SHANNON <3
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